Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  44

  How do you manage to keep JW friendships after you left the organization?

  by Bonsai in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it seems incredibly difficult.

  those who leave the org.

  (or fade) no longer have anything in common with jehovah's witnesses, nor do they want to stick around to get radiated by the fear and guilt that saturates every aspect of a witnesses' life.. i've lost all but one of my jw friends quite simply because i can no longer condone the evil things that they condone.

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  Sail Away

  I was unable to keep any of my JW "friends". I associated with nine congregations during my 42 years in. There is one former "friend" who will still call when she wants something from me. That hasn't changed. I'm not DF'd and won't DA. I walked away and didn't look back. I don't miss the hypocrisy one bit.
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  47

  What are you up to this summer?

  by Xanthippe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i really enjoy hearing about other people's lives.

  feeling a little lonely this evening so please tell me if you have plans for the summer months.

  i may go to some outdoor theatre with my daughter who's home from uni; with a picnic and a bottle of wine.

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  Sail Away

  Xanthippe, I just finished traveling in Panama for two weeks researching possible retirement options. I had great fun meeting people through Air Bnb. Now I'm in Guatemala visiting my six-month old grandson, daughter and son-in-law. We're headed to Antigua this weekend. Mr. Sail Away is home happily teaching sailing all summer. He's not big on travel. Now that I'm liberated from the confines of JWdom, I am enjoying traveling on my own. I no longer feel the need to be The Good JW wife, staying home waiting for hubby.

  In July I have a high school friend coming to visit from out of state. We are attending our high school reunion together. She wants to go to the casino, gamble a bit and see a paranormal-type show there. That will be good for another notch on my 50 Ways to Leave Your Cult list.

  In August I have tai chi camp and plan to visit my son in Annapolis, MD for a few days on the way home. He has wanted to take me to Assateague Island National Seashore for years.

  Hope you enjoy your visit with your daughter-- family time is the best!
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  6

  Will The WT Corporation Be Faced With More Civil Lawsuits Be Filed And Won Over Emotional Pain And Suffering Caused By Shunning World Wide?

  by Brokeback Watchtower in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  the way society today is become more and more sensitive about social wrongs like child abuse, mistreatment of gay people, discrimination and things that cause psychological harm etc....to me spell doom for the wt corporation in the courts as the record is clear to judges and juries that the wt corporation is an abusive cult that needs the law systems to bring them to accounts $$$$ for their cruel treatments to minors and anyone they deem "mentally diseased" and avoided because they found out the wt corporation is a web of lies and deceit.. i feel we are in the very beginning of the end and the lawsuits will pile up to the point of bankruptcy for these abusive crooks..

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  Sail Away

  Mr. SailAway contacted a lawyer in NY, USA about 35 years of shunning and being written out of the will. WT will get one million plus when his 90-year-old JW parents die. Nothing can be done, but he was reassured that as an only child he will be noticed of their death. This is actually a relief. For years when I was still in, I was the go between between them. Two years ago I couldn't handle their hate speech toward hubby and my children who are no longer JWs any longer, so I simply stopped responding to correspondence. I'm done with them. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
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  33

  Within one minute JW with trolley directs me to JW.org

  by steve2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i live in relatively small seaside community (regional population around 45,000).

  in my ten years here, i've had witnesses call on me perhaps twice (not special visits but during door-to-door).

  whereas they once canvassed door-to-door much more frequently - and in larger size service groups - there is quite a decline in their door-knocking - at least in this region.. with the advent of the "trolley" work, their visibility has increased - but i'd estimate only marginally.

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  Sail Away

  I'm traveling in Central America visiting family. I spoke to JWs in Bocas del Toro and in Coronado, Panama. I said that I have JWs in my family and played dumb. The only thing they were interested in sharing was their titles-- C.O., C.O. in training, Missionary, local Elder, full-time pioneer.
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  39

  Wives who complain about their husbands work schedule but refuse to get a job

  by hoser in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i listen to one of these all time in our hall.

  she brings it up constantly about how they would do this or that but he has to work that saturday.

  i think she should get a job and then he could find a lower paying 9 to 5 job..

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  Sail Away

  Hoser

  You were a sister supporting a pioneering husband, Viviane?

  I didn't know the elders would approve a mooching husband to pioneer as it is his scriptural responsibility to support the family

  In my former congregation there were two elders who were full-time pioneers supported by their wives' income. One was the service overseer.
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  74

  Jehovah's Witnesses 2015 Regional Convention Saturday PM experience parents shunning children

  by Watchtower-Free in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  clip 3 minutes long.

  ron and brenda sutton ................warwick 3 children

  it was the missed association with family that brought them back.

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  Sail Away

  So she admits that she was just "a body in the car" while pioneering.

  Why are they still so sad now that they got what they wanted?
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  9

  convention this weekend

  by zeb in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife has just left for the convention.

  i dread it.

  she will come home tired and cranky as always.

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  Sail Away

  FastJehu
  

  Maybe you can prepare a nice candle-light-dinner for her.

  The whole convention she only had dry bread or soggy salad with water.

  Your dinner and the wine would remind her, how nice it would be - to stay at home and maybe watch the convention on the PC or TV. After all the convention talks about "showing love like jesus" it would be great to show her the "real love".

  ^This^

  Zeb, I absolutely agree with what FastJehu said. I was in your wife's shoes for over thirty years. If you love your wife, you will try to be empathetic. She is being verbally abused for the entire weekend-- told she is a worthless speck of dust, what she says and does is never good enough and she needs to do more. They even tell us when to stand up and when to sit down for crying out loud!

  One of my husbands major complaints was that I came home from assemblies and conventions cranky and exhausted. Who wouldn't be after driving for over two hours each way, trying to quiet crying children for an entire weekend, staying at a crappy hotel an hour or more away from the convention site, sitting in traffic, etc.?

  My husband wanted me to have dinner before I came home. The last thing I wanted to do was go out to a loud restaurant and wait for food. I just wanted to go home. As a JW submissive wife (read indoctrinated), I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted. My job was to put up and shut up.

  Now when I come home after traveling and Mr. SailAway is home, I ask him to make me a plate with fruit, cheese and crackers with a glass of wine. I'm happy, and he is happy. If you can't be home when Mrs. Zeb gets home, because it's just too hard and you would rather go fishing, please leave her a nice plate with her drink of choice and a little love note. It will go a long way. Trust me.
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  25

  Crises of conscience

  by Deltawave in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have just read the book crises of conscience in less than 3days!

  i could not put it down!

  even in front of my jw wife and her family.

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  Sail Away

  Deltawave, welcome to the forum!

  Yes, reading CoC will do that to you, but please put on the brakes and slow way down! Do some reading here on the forum. Learn about fading (slowly reducing meeting attendance and field service to avoid calling attention to your exit in order to avoid getting disfellowshipped and to preserve family relationships). Read about the BITE method of cult mind control, and read books and watch videos by Steven Hassan about Combating Cult Mind Control and the Strategic Interaction Approach to freeing your wife from mind control. Confronting your wife so suddenly may be the end of your marriage.

  There will be plenty of posters who will advise you further!

  https://www.freedomofmind.com/

  https://www.freedomofmind.com/Media/SIA.php

  SailAway
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  26

  Want to share your thoughts on JWs?

  by punkofnice in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well, it's been a long while since i last visited here.

  i've been doing this and that...you know....lugubrious life and all.. i am interested in collating views from all types of people about jws, albeit non jws, ex jws....anyone associated with jws who wants to share their viewpoint.

  later on i'd like to self publish these collected interviews but cannot offer any money as the project is more about giving people an opportunity to speak, help, whatever, rather than make a best seller.

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  Sail Away

  • Name/Pseudonym: Sail Away
  
  • Gender: Female
  
  • Country: USA
  
  • Were/are you a JW? (Pick one): Yes, I was a JW.
  
  • How were/are you associated with JWs:

  Other (Please state): My father accepted a family study when I was nine years old. By age 10 I became an unbaptized publisher. My entire family stopped studying with the witnesses within two years, but I stayed in and was baptized at age 16 in 1975 with my father’s permission.
  
  • How long were you a JW? (If applicable): 42 years
  
  • What drew you to the JWs? The witnesses target vulnerable, idealistic people. I was drawn in by their promise of a happy family life. My mother was/is mentally ill and my father was an alcoholic and serial cheater who couldn’t keep a job. We were at times homeless.
  
  • What do/did you enjoy about being a JW? I thought I was pleasing God.
  
  • What is your best/fondest memory? Working in food service during assemblies and conventions gave me a sense of belonging and made me feel needed.

  • What is your funniest memory?

  One day out in the field ministry a much-loved elder/pioneer came back to the car stammering, wide-eyed and speechless. A man was out mowing the lawn, and his wife jumped out from behind a bush to surprise him wearing only a raincoat. She opened the raincoat for the elder thinking he was her hubby. The elder’s wife (also a pioneer) was in the car group, and she laughed hysterically. The elder did not say another word for the rest of the morning.
  
  • If alive in 1975 as a JW, do you remember it? What are you memories as a JW?

  I remember reading in the Watchtower that I would never be old enough to graduate from college, get married or have children before Armageddon came. I remember the increased pressure and talks from the platform to do more in the ministry, as the time was short and so many lives were at stake. There were articles in the Watchtower magazine about the 6,000 years of mankind’s existence which helped mark the year 1975. I gave up a college scholarship to pioneer where the need was great out of high school, as higher education was forbidden. I remember the articles afterward about not serving with a date in view and how some were overzealous. I remember people who went into debt by spending money they didn’t have, because they thought they wouldn’t have to pay back the loans when Armageddon came. Mostly I remember nightmares about my family being destroyed at Armageddon and being raped and tortured in a concentration camp for being loyal to Jehovah.
  
  • Can you think of anything positive or good to say about the watchtower organization?

  It served as my substitute family during my pre-teen and teen years and added structure to my life, perhaps saving me from alcoholism and drug addiction which was the path most of my siblings took.
  
  • Do you believe the JWs have the ‘truth’? Absolutely not
  
  • Would you recommend being a JW and why do you answer thus?

  I would in no way recommend becoming a JW. The organization is a destructive high control group (cult) that destroys human potential by forbidding higher education, destroys families by its disfellowshipping doctrine and mandatory shunning, puts lives at risk due to the ban on blood transfusions and protects pedophiles by implementing the “two-witness rule” and treating child molestation as a sin to be handled by the congregation elders rather than a crime that needs to be reported to and handled by the proper authorities. The organization lies to its members and prints revisionist history to cover its tracks.
  
  • Please tell us what you want us to know about being a JW.

  I suffered a life time of severe clinical depression, generalized anxiety disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as a JW in large part due to the doctrines, beliefs and practices of the organization. Cognitive dissonance nearly killed me. Mishandling of a personal crisis in my son’s life by the elders nearly killed him. He is now disfellowshipped, and I was expected to shun him. That just wasn’t going to happen.

  I have been out for nearly four years now and am medication free and happy. The organization interferes in marriages and family lives with all of its rules and heavy demands on time and resources. It isolates people with the Us vs.Them mentality that “worldly people” (including non-believing family members) are under Satan’s control and wicked. My immediate family is all out of the organization, and we have mended the rifts caused by the organization. My in-laws are still in and have continued to shun their only son, my husband, for over 30 years. They now shun me and our children as well and have no interest in getting to know their first great grandchild—all because we left the organization.
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  60

  Are You "Technically" Still A Jehovah's Witness?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  even if you don't regard yourself as a practicing jw, some may view you simply as inactive, a lost sheep, etc.. if you were baptized but not disfellowshipped or disassociated, you may still be a jw---right?

  your thoughts please..

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  Sail Away

  I walked away after the 2011 District Convention of 'the toes in Daniel's dream image mean nothing' fame. Not DF'd, won't DA. I have not received the obligatory once a year "shepherding call" from my two-elder hit team, nor have I received a "Memorial invitation" in two years. My neighbor reports that when JWs come to the neighborhood, they skip my door. I don't know if I'm considered "inactive" or a "known apostate", and I don't care.

  Mr. Sail Away (posts as Bethel Mayflower on Reddit) faded over 30 years ago before we knew what fading was. He was "marked" for playing a sport too competitively at a congregation picnic many years ago. The elders consider him a "known apostate", but could never get the goods on him. He was always careful about what he said/didn't say, and I was not willing to rat him out.